


To Never Forget

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Broken Ciel Phantomhive, Depression, POV Ciel Phantomhive, Personal thoughts, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 18:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10702425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The day Ciel’s parents were killed and the manor burned down, he was terrified. He was but a boy at the time. He was weak, incompetent, pathetic.... What was he supposed to do? Could he have possibly prevented it? He supposed not. Thinking back on that day, tremors ran threw his body. Time passed, he moved on. But he never forgot.





	To Never Forget

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know what the hell this short story is supposed to be... I just wanted to write something concerning another fandom and this monstrosity happened xD

The day Ciel’s parents were killed and the manor burned down, he was terrified. He was but a boy at the time. He was weak, incompetent,  _ pathetic....  _ What was he supposed to do? Could he have possibly prevented it? He supposed not. Thinking back on that day, tremors ran threw his body. Time passed, he moved on. But he never forgot. 

He never forgot the agonizing screams that tore from his throat. The pain, the suffering, his own troubling thoughts. Plaguing him. He had wondered if he would get out alive, why no one had come to save him. Oh well, he made it, but at a tremendous cost. His right eye. And now that he was free, he sought revenge. Nothing but cold, hard, vengeance. He vowed to make the people who had caused his family great agony, the people who had sullied his family’s name… Quite frankly, he vowed to kill them all. To watch them suffer.

He couldn’t do that without the help of his butler, though. His  _ demon _ butler. His own personal piece to control. He only wanted to live on until he got rid of those wretched diseases, because if the king falls, the game is over. That’s how it goes, isn’t it?

Games. People lay one eye on him and think he is nothing but a weakly. Nothing but a child. Those people fail to realised he is much more. They’ll never have a chance to think back on it though. Not while they’re dead. He holds so much in his small palms. Enough to cause a great abundance of stress, to even make him question what’s the point, sometimes. But he never forgot. Never.

He had lost so much. Learned sad truths. Been betrayed… But when does it end? When does the pain ever end? It stays with him. Even when he tries to pull away, unconsciously or not, it stays. It has never left for even a moment. But he daren’t let it show. He couldn’t allow people to see his weakness. His fatigue. That would only leave him vulnerable for the world to see. He refused to be an open book. 

He had met acquaintances. He wouldn’t dream of calling them friends, just acquaintances. He cared about them, though it wasn’t apparent. He was only human, after all. These people knew when something was wrong. They knew when he needed comforting, even if he denied it. He felt safe with them, but that was no good. So he pulled away. Away from all of them. He must carry his hatred, because if he lets it go, he is no longer the same person. He no longer exist. 

He wondered about everyday emotions. What did they feel like? What did it truly mean to be happy, excited, or even thrilled? He wouldn’t know. He hadn’t smiled in years. Happy emotions were full of rubbish. Just another barrier to hide behind. The world is a dark place. Who can afford to be happy? Why do people enjoy things such as birthdays, and parties, and  _ friends _ ? In his own personal opinion, the whole idea is nonsense.

He scoffed at a memory that came to mind. The day Finny, Baldroy, and Mey-Rin walked around the manor all day with a bright smile on their faces. All to please him. All to see their young master smile. It was pathetic, but he could appreciate the effort. 

All three of his servants, though they couldn’t do any of their main jobs correctly half the time, put in plenty of effort. As the earl of Phantomhive, people should know better than to underestimate his servants. They were warriors. They were willing to put their lives on the line to protect their young master.

_ All  _ for their  _ young master. _

Well, he couldn’t complain. They have helped him more times than he could count. He hated having to rely on them. Having to rely on Sebastian. The sad truth was without them, he would never make it in the world. He cannot even tie his own shoes. It wasn’t his fault though, he was never taught. He never  _ had  _ to tie his own shoes, cook his own food, or even just clean. Besides, he could learn if he wanted to. There’s a first time for everything, as some would say. 

**He wished he could be _more_. He wished he could be stronger, physically and mentally. He wished he wasn’t so dependent. For now though, he would continue to be Ciel Phantomhive. **


End file.
